Value (2) - what you want
Find out who you are, the next question is what you want, or what you want.
Bad situation, most people like I said earlier, they said lips, not really what he wanted.
I still get to do what happened to me for instance, my staff is not always a time of high emotion, feeling much pressure the company to each of them must be completed each quarter, a sales quota, if two consecutive quarters can not complete this level, we need to write your own letter of resignation. So when they have a long period of time in which no tangible progress, we have the frustration. They always invited me to participate in private one to one meeting, I hope I can understand their situation, and guide them with the right approach. I always arrange a time to go, but in most cases, always listen to what they say inside the company who do not meet, and how often to change how our customers pay attention to their own how to do this piece of work is not interested in Estonia No fighting, do not know where the next step road. I heard some complaints about specific things, but not hear them from their voices, such as to complete the work, another word to say what is to achieve the objective, they face a real challenge. To understand these complaints, or those working in the conflict is easy to avoid that have taken place, and very easy to resolve. I spoke in front of people is always based on self-interest (or environment) to make judgments and decisions, as long as you also change the other's perspective the same thing, you can get completely different answers. What is the essence of the problem? The problem is they do not know where the problem, or can not accurately define the problem. First of all, they always try to find the answer in the external things (Reason), most people are so, so things not done well, there is always this or that reason.
In fact, we should start from the personal level, we must first consider their own problems, and then try to find its own answers to the origin. People are always in conflict when the habit of looking for "Who is right Who is right", rather than a trial to ask themselves "what is right What is right". Customary to put your own responsibility to find a variety of external proclamation. Sometimes found that the reason nothing better looking? Late morning, the bus can be late coming, bike did not air, sick children and so on. Small, I was more mischievous boys inside, but whenever I have disputes with others, wants to return his father's help, often when the first ass Aishang his hand because he thinks the world is only one thing palm definitely not clap, a dispute with others, always have my reasons. My father in the most simple and obvious, and somewhat barbaric methods of telling me the truth: everything first to find the issue (Question), the answer Caidui itself meaningful.
I would wordy story of a general and soldiers, so that everyone knows better. That is a general inspection of troops on one occasion to see a soldier standing in front of his hat has swept over his eyes and asked: Staff Sergeant, if your hat inappropriate? Soldier replied: No, General, is not suitable to my head. General heard the answer, very surprised: clearly is not appropriate for your hat, how is your head inappropriate. Soldier calmly replied: General, is my first look inappropriate, revolutionary soldiers were first to find the problem.
What a lovely one of the soldiers. We spoke of the previous section due to internal and external attribution. Who make an internal attribution, because only the internal attribution, you can find that you can control behavior. The problem comes down to the outside, even if the real truth of this, but what with their own development? We said in the foreword that the "why" and "Why" is a talking point.
Speaking in front of me back something. My staff to complete the task well, we must first think of the adequacy of their own efforts, whether to a number of ways too. Problems in the cooperation with colleagues, whether they attempt to fully communicate with colleagues, you have to complete your objectives and share your collaboration, and ensure that they understand it, so that they are willing and able to help you do things better. Customer requirements are always changing, whether you have been saying "yes" (Say Yes) instead of having to lead to encourage customers to do so, because you always promised very happy, you think you can afford. Do you try to manage customer expectations in the past, try to past clients to say "no" (Say No).
Often, when we had our act when action is always the outside there are many assumptions, these assumptions may not realize your own, but it happened after all. Like the previous example, we assume that our colleagues understand our goals, assumptions of our clients say "no" to customers and we will not sign orders. It is this assumption that there is often limits our thinking.
Not long ago one often heard the case, called the attitude is everything, of course, also determine success. Later I was a friend's help, truly understand the meaning of this sentence. I took it to share with you.
That attitude is what it determines our behavior, and when we keep these behaviors often repeated, the result of our habits, these regular habits, because the presence of inertia, it is everything. It sounds very simple reason? So what determines our attitude, our attitude is determined by our habits of thinking, these habits of thinking and behavior habits of the same, because we keep repeating interval result, this interval is repeated because We are always in our own thinking with some restrictive conditions, that is, the assumption of thinking.
My friend afraid I do not understand, say, two experimental case.
Talking about a case in a transparent glass tank in raising a big fish and a fish. Normal situation is that big fish eat little fish will swim in the past, but a piece of transparent glass on the fish and between fish, after a certain period of time after the discovery is to take away that piece of glass, big fish are still active in its territory, will not travel past the small fish eat. We will say a big fish silly, because the front is constantly run into the small fish to eat that piece of glass and feel the pain, the pain was because first, give up thinking that is placed in front of the food, but take away the glass after can still try. Sometimes people also piece of fish, we in the work environment, if you first find a colleague to cooperate with my colleagues do not, usually go to the second time, and if the second does not work, will try again Third, third is not, you usually get around this since my colleagues to go, regardless of the collaboration is the first time we did not have a reason for the second time is another, and then a third time, my colleagues are and may be three times reasons unrelated to you does not help you (although the probability is very small, think of one other thing, a lot of fun, you catch the final three abandoned girl is the same as I said?), but you still walk away, because it and the fish think the same?
The second case is still talking about the glass thing, but the cylinder to enlarge, replace the fish monkey, and then nailed the big-block on the ceiling. You find that no matter how high the original of this monkey dance, after a certain time later, the monkeys will never jump, but that piece of ceiling height. Some are monkeys who, like have a head on the ceiling? We are thinking about the restrictions, in fact no different with the piece of ceiling. Now there are a lot of development outside the training, what training is to help us find the piece of the ceiling on the chieftains, and help us get rid it. Comrade Deng Xiaoping spoke of "emancipating the mind," liberation is just a piece of the ceiling.
I often hear the complaint, rather than them and I said: first, I communicate with some type of some of the challenges encountered, can you help me? Head, I kind of customers in the management of expectations encountered obstacles, you have a good method or technique? I want to take the above definition of those they have come to help them analyze the problem and try to find the answer. If we can not correctly define the problem, the answer is also no sense. Most people I speak mouth to say, not really what he wants, is what it means.
To sum up, that we should not go outside often complain that too little of your contributions, but you should think more of how much the external contribution. The correct definition of the problem should also be the source of this.
Back to our big propositions, and "what you want" relevant question is: Why did you come to work? What you plan to work in the end? Different people have different kind of question for the answer, some say for survival, for the improvement of living conditions, it was also described for the realization of self-worth. Different people for different purposes to work. The answer is not important, the question is really what you say you want? Maybe we need to know the answer, then this question should better answer: What do companies hire you? If you do not do, how will you?
The fisherman and the rich story maybe you remember? That is a rich tourist, saw a poor fisherman relaxing in the sun for a world-famous beach, was incredible, could not help asking him: "Why do not you work?" The fisherman said: "Today I has worked, and played up the fish had enough one day that I used. "rich pity:" You can play some more fish, more money, and Qiana. "fisherman asked:" To so much money doing? "rich man said, : "You can buy more boats, more fish to fight, and then later have their own fleet, and the establishment of ocean shipping ... ... Finally, when the millionaire." fisherman asked: "When a millionaire what? "" That you can not do everything you can lay the world's most famous beach on the sun. "fisherman laughed:" I am not the sun you are here? "
This classic story worthy of our time in discussing this proposition brought narrative and thought. May have been willing to see it as a lazy man's philosophy, such as the rich man who, like fishermen blame progress, to meet the status quo and seek to enjoy. However, compared with the poverty of the fishermen, but few people really thought we gifted in the end why are alive, how to live, what should pursue, what I really want these fundamental problems? The secular world, we desperately seeking that money can buy everything, it seems to have been a wealth of happiness; busy day after day, all day long as the donkey blindfolded drawing mill, not knowing where to go, to ignorance and ignorant precious time of life boil degree.
Although the poor fisherman who, he understood, in addition to a living, excessive pursuit and possession can not bring more happiness, contentment, although it can not make him rich, but without the pain caused by Yuhenantian. He knew that happiness comes from within, not external things, which made him even more concerned about the spirit of joy and peace. He understands the purpose of life is to be happy and well-being, better people live in the present, can only enjoy the present, he is always among the pleasure and satisfaction.
The rich man, he might get a sense of success, but he had orders from the desire to drive, can not satisfy the desire to bring to bear the torment. To this end he hesitate, spare no efforts, suspense, and even with the sun on the beach may be preoccupied and frowning. Although he can spend big bucks, casual way to travel around, took to long years of mediocre at the expense of doing business. Even if he can enjoy a month of leisure time each year, how can the quality of life every day, relaxed and happy with the fisherman compare?
Although the story of the fisherman spoke again and again, but every time give us a different inspiration.
In sum this means, in addition to figure out who you are, but also figure out what you want? In the end you want? Is like a fisherman, or as rich? I sometimes think about before going to bed, or you have to, try to ask yourself, what I want? I want to go?
The author thanks Mr. Zhan Guoyong
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